Id vs the Super Ego

On Tuesday, I bumped into one of my acting teachers at Chipotle.  I seem to talk a lot about my physical acting teachers and I am not saying my other teachers are not worth talking about, but because of the  nature of this class, everything is experiential and it takes time to process what happens in class. 

I brought up certain experiences in class about feeling selfish in class, and not being out there as an artist, an activist and telling the stories that need to be told. After listening to me, he looked at me bewildered by my comment. He responded, "Why shouldn't you be selfish? You need the training to be the best at your craft in order to go out there and tell those stories!" 

Yes, be more selfish. Personally, I have told myself in the past that being selfish will not get you anywhere and now that I am training, my entire world is being torn down. Of course, I need to think about myself because no one else will. I am fortunate enough to have a mother who is selfless and would give ANYTHING to make sure my sister and I are comfortable.  I really look up to her but I am realizing I can not stay in my safe bubble if I want to make it in this business.

So, it's the battle between id, and my super ego.  I want to be impulsive but what is practical? Give myself the opportunity to do what I love and also to know that I can touch people with my art, my truth.

I don't have to give up the kind, vulnerable part of myself but just have to build a high enough platform where no one can touch me and yet can still see me.